Friday, December 28, 2012

Where did it begin?

2.
I admit
she frightened me

her red-hair and her daily fury
always in secret afternoons of terror

like with my father and my other lovers
I learned to wait

then explode

3.
all these pretty words are charms
salves for a filthy soul

not one of them reveals the real
beast that fuels these feelings

the anger and hate and lust
all bent towards ending

this humiliating existence
this whimper of being

4.
some I know
wander through rooms singing

and it makes being worthwhile
and breathing easy

some I know have belief
and no fear of dying

unlike me

5.
while tonight I write this
in my grey sweater and comfortable jeans
listening to the sound of old pipes and crawling things
the countdown and the ticking
afraid of loving

longing for one
to save me

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