this is my velocity

a daily amping
as I wake late
and regret blurs

days mostly gone
nothing done

then the coming evening
as things

feel
finally
okay

(what is it about the the dark
that makes it all
all right)

planning tomorrow
listing
everything

giving it
order

number one
is a job

number two
is food

number three
is family

number four
is exercise

number five
is stay alive

(forget about
the knife
at my neck
that held prisoner
last night
the pills I had
for medical use
not self-medication
not for dreamless
endless
slumber)

this is my life
my day to day

fake
living

quiet
dusty
corners

too much thinking
looping back
to me

nothing
except believing

that thought
ain't the trap
it's the way

I will fight
myself
free

then
7:30 a.m.

not asleep
grinding teeth

sweating
rolling

the goddamn birds
singing

the fucking sun
rising

rapping my bones on these keys
hoping

a new way born
from doing

these same
goddamn
things

tut tut
woman

fucking
kiss me