It was 1981
in my friend Rudy's home
when I first became aware of the werewolf
in the garage
of a pale green house
owned by a long haul trucker
in an unfinished cul-de-sac
in Wilmington, North Carolina
I heard his breath
and saw his dark outline
in the corner
of my eye
the shadow of the creature crept near me
as I hid from my friend
crouched behind his Mom's
boxy Buick
it seemed a choice to recognize
this apparition
it seems like at that moment
I decided
whether to eyeball
my own illusions
which is crazy
because insanity
does not come
with
an on or off switch
but there you have it
I chose
to leave this hairy
angry
disturbance visible only
in the narrow corners of my
eyes
and thirty years later
the snarl of this beast
seems to be mine
while not
and trying to see it
head on
is impossible
it lurks in slanted angles
at the sides
of my eyeballs
and I drink
and type
and fuck
trying to fool him
into staring me in the eye
because when you
see your
demon
he loses dominion
but this guy has been clever
and watched me grow a beard and
lose my mind
and lose my life
to sometimes
silent
and sometimes
violent
anger
he wins by being
slim in presence
looming
in the background
quietly
like an infection
leaving
me fanged
and hairy
and mad
broken bearded boy
lost
to self-deception
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