tackled atop snow
twisting my back
screaming
wrestling in the front yard
2 a.m.
trying to leave
the quiet street our only witness
the white powder our canvas
she had been drinking
when she took MDMA
she had been smoking pot
and singing off-key
her teeth striped
black
grimaces leave
lips unsweet
thrusting with insults
begging
weeping unkind tears
to fool me
later
finally free
after shoving her off my car's hood
now having to live
with memories
knowing only the silence and the snow
witnessed the ending
the shame
the guilt
the bruises I showed no one
the bruises I left behind
no words
can ever give this meaning or redemption
we sinned in that house and on the lawn
and I have left out almost all of it
or at least anything
that blames
me
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